Shifting...

While I don't feel all of my spiritual struggles have been unearthed, let alone explored and resolved, I have been a bit sidetracked from my journey as of late. I don't plan to discontinue or delete this blog, but I don't expect to write in it for a while.

In the meantime, I have started a blog about my journey with fibromyalgia. I've made a total of one entry so far, but intend to spend more time researching and writing about fibromyalgia in the future. I consider it an aspect of my treatment planning. For those of you who are curious, my new blog can be found at: http://fightfibro.healthblogs.org/. Here's an excerpt from my first entry.

Fibromyaglia is a combination of sensitivities and stressors that lead to diminished well-being and health... There are many causes and contributing factors, which lead to a spectrum of symptoms, which ultimately develop into the self-perpetuating syndrome known as fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia is too complex, too new, and too mild of a health problem for the medical community to press beyond symptom management and into the confusing and complex maze of causative and contributing factors, the available interventions, and the process of moving from treating symptoms to addressing the root of the
problem.

Part of the challenge of moving forward in treatment of fibromyalgia, as well as many other syndromes and spectrum disorders, is that no two patients are the same... The key for sorting out symptom management and treatment for any complex condition is to identify which symptoms are impacting function the most, and focus on addressing those issues first... Another important aspect of managing complex conditions is identifying any areas of maladaption that may have developed... Any maladaptive strategy a patient has developed will only serve to exacerbate their symptoms and hamper their healing and recovery, which is why it is an important area of intervention when treating fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions.

Growing Up

There comes a point in your spiritual life, as in human life, where many come to question their origins and how they were raised.

Growing up, I idolized my father. In my eyes, he could do no wrong.

Growing up, I learned about God, went to private school, and studied all of the right answers to questions I had never had.

You, the reader, may relate to the devastation I went through as a young adult when I finally learned my father was NOT perfect.

I am going through the grief process of realizing my church, my religion, and Christianity in general is NOT perfect.

I pray that just as God has helped me into a healthy reconciliation with my father, he will guide me into a healthy reconciliation with my church, my religion, and Christianity. Because otherwise, I fear, I will be lost.

Moving Beyond Tolerance

It's been awhile

It's been almost a year since I last wrote on here. I've been a little preoccupied. The main thing that has been going on in my life has been learning to live with fibromyalgia. I was having a lot of health problems in the fall, and I was finally diagnosed in February with FM. I'll be honest, it's been a bit of an adjustment, but God has blessed me. I'm learning how to take better care of myself and to manage my symptoms, and on my good days I actually feel better than I have in a very long time. For those of you who are unfamiliar with fibromyalgia, here's a good introduction/overview to fill you in on what I've been learning to live with: FM Fact Sheet.

Now that I'm doing better, I hope to have more time/energy to put into this blog. I've been doing a lot of thinking and it will be good for me to try to organize my thoughts.

Renewed Heart Ministries

Just wanted to share a really great website: Renewed Heart Ministries. Herb Montgomery is a pastor that gets it. I'll let his messages speak for themselves: http://www.renewedheartministries.com.

Growth

I love spring time. Despite it's dangers (pollen, poison ivy, and the allure of baby animals I don't have the time/room/money to care for), I truly enjoy seeing green, lush growth after the dreary brown, dormant scenery of winter.

Spring reminds me of the seasons of growth I'm continually going through as a person and as a child of God. All I can say is I'm glad God's not through with me yet. I've been struggling... more often than not... for as long as I can remember. God has granted me triumphs and given me great blessings that I don't deserve, and yet I still feel like I'm waging a continual uphill battle.

I've been trying to pair my worries with praises...to remind myself despite what I'm facing, God has always seen me through.

Frustrations at work. But thank God for work!

Worries about money. But thank God for work and for keeping me healthy so I don't miss work!

Unresolved pain and bitterness about my mom. But thank God for granting me understanding and hope in the future -- being reunited with mom in heaven, one day experiencing the fullness of motherhood myself.

Ugh-ness. Amen!

Haha. Still a work in progress, as you can see!

Sermon Video

This is a sermon I gave at my church (Canton Adventist Church) on 4/4/2009.

The audio is HIDEOUS at the beginning,
but it gets better once my dear hubby brings me a working microphone.