love vs. fear

I think God has really been trying to tell me something about love.

Over a month ago, my chiropractor (of all people) got me thinking about love vs. fear. During a conversation we were having, he told me that there are two basic emotions: fear and love. He said some people live and react to everything in their lives out of fear, and function on a "fight or flight" basis. Other people are loving and acceptiving of whatever happens. He went on to say that feelings like guilt and shame are rooted in fear. He said acceptance and peace are rooted in love.

Then yesterday our pastor gave a sermon about relationships. During his sermon, he quoted a portion of 1 John 4 from the Message translation of the Bible:

"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day -- our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life -- fear of death, fear of judgment -- is one not yet fully formed in love."

If I want to be honest with myself, I have to admit I have a tendency to live out of fear. Not that I am not capable of experiencing or giving love; it just isn't the emotion that drives my life. Fear is. And I don't like that. I want to live a life driven by love. I believe that is what God wants for me (and everyone) as well.

I just finished reading The Shack by William Paul Young for our small group. There was so much in there about love vs. fear, I don't even know where to start. But it all comes down to this: my life is not fully formed in love. I have not learned to trust God and is has prevented me from developing a mature relationship with Him. This is an uncomfortable place to be, and I realize I want to be able to trust Him and submit to His love. I know I have develop beliefs in lies that must be destroyed -- something I cannot do alone.

But God has gotten my attention and has begun to woo me back into a relationship with Him. I want so much for it to work out...

matthew 7:7-8

For a while, I was so burnt on religion that I couldn't even bring myself to read the Bible or listen to a sermon or even sing praise songs without getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was so turned off.

But God didn't give up on me. He used the people around me to remind me that He loves and cares for me. He eventually brought me to a place where I could experience healing and hope. He made it possible for me to find my way back to Him.

I am still on my way back to Him, but I'm okay with that. At least I can now start searching for some answers and try to figure out what I believe for myself. Not that other people don't have valid insights into God...I've just been listening for too long. Now I'm looking for answers to my own questions. And I believe I will find the answers. The reason I believe is because of what God says in Matthew 7:7-8:

"Ask and it will be given to you;
Seek and you will find;
Knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives;
He who seeks finds;
And to him who knocks, the door will be opened."