giving thanks

Drew and I spent Thanksgiving in St. Louis with my family. I love Thanksgiving. This year, I spent some time really thinking about how much I have to be grateful for. And there is a LOT. I won't list all of them, but here are a few categories:

1. I am thankful for the people and animals in my life.
   
2. I am thankful for the opportunities I have to grow and improve.
   
3. I am thankful for the material blessings that have given me much comfort and pleasure over the past year.
   
4. I am thankful for my job and the chance I have had to make a difference in the lives of children on a daily basis.
   
5. I am thankful for a Creator who revels in my unique personality and accepts me and loves me for who I am.
6. I am thankful to live in a world that still has so much beauty and wonder.

I realize this blog has become somewhat of a way for me to express what I don't like. So, there are at least six things I do like to balance it out. :)

recommendation for your viewing pleasure

This week at our small group, we watched a talk by W. Paul Young, the author of The Shack. We were all really struck by his honesty, sincerity, peace, hope, love, brilliance, etc. You should check it out, even if you haven't read the book. It doesn't spoil anything about the book, but it definitely adds some perspective for those of us who have read it. If you're interested, follow this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf7-vKhaTz4

This link will take you to part 4 of 12; the first three are music and a long introduction. There is still some introduction on part 4, but it's worth waiting out. Once part 4 completes, look for part 5, etc.

get real

"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." (Matt. 5:33-37, Message)

How are Christians like politicians? Let me count the ways...

Some Christians are so convinced they are right and everyone else is wrong that they forget we are all human and all fall short of the grace of God.

Others are so concerned with being liked that they won't say what they believe in.

Some Christians think that because they are Christians, they have to have all the answers and have to act religious all the time; or at least when around other Christians. But that's just it -- it's just an ACT.

I love the term Eugene Peterson uses in this verse: "religious lace." I don't know how many Christians do it purposefully, but I've noticed this behavior a lot... There are Christians who pray very eloquently and who seem to say all the right things, but they seem to be missing something... that something being a calm assurance in their relationship with Christ.

This is a hard topic to write about without judging others and their walks with God. All I know is as a struggling Christian, hearing other Christians use all the right religious terms without having a true connection with God is a huge turn off. It's true what the Bible says, "In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true." I've grown up my entire life hearing religous-speak; I am thirsty for REAL people, genuine people. I don't care if they don't have all the right answers, I just want them to be honest with themselves, with God, and with me.

rest

be still and know He
know He is holy
be still and know He is God
we have our lives with inventions
that have hurried us nowhere fast
now we need to turn our attentions
to what will last

be still and know He
know He is holy
be still and know He is God
love Him more dearly
see Him more clearly
be still and know He is God

we've been running without a direction
we're afraid to get there late
what we need is strength just to kneel down
and wait

be still and know He
know He is holy
be still and know He is God
love Him more dearly
see Him more clearly
be still and know He is God

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There never seems to be enough time in a day. Things go by so quickly, and my to do list seems to be getting longer instead of shorter every day. It's so easy to fall into the cycle of going, going, going, because there is never an end to what needs to be done. And that's just talking about responsibilities. When you throw in the things you want to do, you have even less time.

But we are hard-wired to require rest. And not just sleeping every night. But to actually spend a portion of our day, while we are awake, resting. Our bodies have two basic physiologic states, which are controlled by separate nerves and brain functions.

The first physiologic state is controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system, and is responsible for what's called homeostasis. Homeostasis is complex, but is essentially the body's ability to regulate. It enables the body to regulate many different processes, including hydration, temperatue, digestion, filtering of nutrients and waste, healing, and arousal level (how awake/alert we are). It also allows us to adapt to our environment, both internal and external. It is quite literally our bodies' "home" state -- where we are supposed to be functioning most of the time.

The second physiologic state is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, and is responsible for the well-known "fight or flight response". It is a protective system that is intented to alert us to danger and help us to escape or fight the source of danger. This system is always functioning, and during times of rest, works in conjunction with the parasympathetic nervous system. But during times of stress, the sympathetic nervous system "takes charge" and overrides parasympathetic activity. It is necessary for survival.

But when we stay constantly busy and stressed, we essentially wear our bodies out. We don't spend enough time in homeostasis where our bodies can regulate all those important functions I mentioned before. We aren't able to heal adequately, we don't filter nutrients and waste effectively, we have trouble falling asleep and staying awake, etc., etc. It becomes a vicious cycle--the more accrued damage our bodies store up, the more and more rest they will need to get back to "normal." So, we develop internal stress on top of the external stress we experience.

The funny thing about humans, though, is that we don't easily remember how important it is to rest. No wonder God had to give us a command to rest, and for a whole 24-hour period, no less! I know many days I don't slow down long enough for a 15-minute lunch break, let alone 24 hours at a time. There are so many important things that happen when we rest. Yes, of course, there are the important physiological reasons I've described. But rest is also crucial for mental health, relationships, and spirituality. And again, I don't just mean getting enough sleep. I'm also referring to spending time "resting" while we are awake...being still...

Isn't it hard? But we need it. We need it so much, God commands us out of love to take time to rest. When we are properly rested, we are healthier, more vibrant, and better capable to face the challenges that come our way. We are more grounded; centered; organized; whatever you want to call it. We are more in tune with God and with others. It's such a positive and crucial part of our lives; why is it so easy to ignore and abuse?

envy

“You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:17, NLT)

There is an aspect of my personality that I've been struggling with for as long as I remember. And it has to do with envy. I have enormous respect for talent of every form, but many times I can't just leave it at that. When I am confronted with someone of talent, particularly when it is someone I know and am close to, I cannot always simply appreciate their talent. I start to compare myself and pick out all of the ways I am not as talented or skilled. What is it about me that makes me want to be the best at everything, and beating myself up because I'm not?

Envy does not do me any good. It just makes me sad. It makes me dissatisfied. And then it discolors my ability to enjoy others' talents. Ugh. It's disgusting to even admit. What an unpleasant part of being human.

So what does it take to avoid envy, lust, and coveting? I really think the root, or foundation, is being content with who and what and where you are. Then, out of that, you can live a life of love, acceptance, and appreciation for the ways we are all different and unique. And, of course, none of us have the power to do this on our own. It's not our nature.

I know one of the fastest ways for me to realize I am not feeling content or secure is when I catch myself being envious. Right now, I happen to be feeling a bit covetous of my husband's ability to play the piano. He is in the other room playing and singing. His musical talent is one of the things that I admire most about him; the first time I heard him play the piano, I quite nearly melted...

So, WHY can such a beautiful feeling, such a beautiful thing--my admiration and appreciation of his talent--become so twisted so that it actually causes me pain? I know my heart is not in the right place. And I know I'm not perfect and I'm bound to have negativity in my life from time to time. And I know it will pass. I know, I know, and I know. But my heart does not know.

I'm reading a book entitled Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer per the recommendation of some dear friends of mine. One of the things he states very strongly early on in the book is that we are capable of controlling our feelings. This is based on two premises: First, that we can control our thoughts, and second, that our feelings are a result of our thoughts. Therefore, since we can control our thoughts, and our feelings come from our thoughts, we can control our feelings. If that is true, then I have some work to do on learning how to control my thoughts instead of letting them control me. Sounds like a good goal to me.

what's my style?

Last night was OurSpace -- our small group from church that gets together once a week. We got started watching Rob Bell's Nooma videos and have since developed into a more eclectic discussion group. Right now we're all reading The Shack and plan on discussing it once everyone finishes (hurry up, Ed & Drew!!!).

Anyway, last night we watched You've Got Style, a DVD sermon by Andy Stanley, the pastor of North Point Community Church, a prominent & progressive church in the Atlanta area. The sermon was based on Hebrews 10 & the book Sacred Pathways by Gary L. Thomas. It really made sense to me, especially when he was talking about the 4 major pitfalls we are all guilty of when it comes to misunderstanding worship styles. The basic premise of the sermon was that there is only one path to salvation, which is through Jesus Christ, but that there are many different expressions and ways of connecting with God along that path.

He introduced 9 different styles that Gary Thomas mentions in his book:

1. Intellectual - Loving God with the Mind:These Christians live in the world of concepts. They may feel closest to God when they first understand something new about Him.
2. Contemplative - Loving God through Adoration:These Christians seek to love God with the purest, deepest, and brightest love imaginable. They want nothing more than some privacy and quiet to gaze upon the face of their heavenly Lover and give all of themselves to God.
3. Enthusiast - Loving God with Mystery & Celebration:Excitement and mystery in worship is the spiritual lifeblood of enthusiasts. They are inspired by joyful celebration; cheerleaders for God and the Christian life. They don't want to just know concepts, but to experience them, to feel them, and to be moved by them. They like to let go and experience God on the precipice of excitement and awe.
4. Caregiver - Loving God by Loving Others:Caregivers serve God by serving others. They often claim to see Christ in the poor and needy, and their faith is built up by interacting with other people. Caring for others recharges a caregiver's batteries.
5. Activist - Loving God Through Confrontation:These Christians define worship as standing against evil and calling sinners to repentance. They are energized more by interaction with others, even in conflict, than by being alone or in small groups. Activists are spiritually nourished through the battle.
6. Ascetic - Loving God in Solitude and Simplicity:Ascetics want nothing more than to be left alone in prayer. Let there be nothing to distract them--no pictures, no loud music--and leave them alone to pray in silence and simplicity.
7. Traditionalist - Loving God Through Ritual and Symbol:Traditionalists are fed by what are often termed the historic dimensions of faith: rituals, symbols, sacraments, and sacrifice. They tend to have a disciplined life of faith and have a need for ritual and structure.
8. Sensate - Loving God with the Senses:Sensate Christians want to be lost in the awe, beauty, and splendor of God. They are drawn particularly to the liturgical, the majestic, the grand. They want to be filled with sights, sounds, and smells that overwhelm them. The five senses are God's most effective inroad to their hearts.
9. Naturalist - Loving God Out of Doors:The naturalist seeks to leave the formal architecture and the padded pews to enter an entirely new "cathedral", a place that God himself has built: the out-of-doors.

I found a couple of places online that you can take quizzes to find out what your style is. If you're curious, you can take the quizzes for yourself. The first two are the same quizzes, just different ways of answering the questions (I like the 2nd one). The last one is a different quiz with 7 different styles based on the book An Ordinary Day with Jesus by John Ortberg & Ruth Haley Barton. It can be printed off but you have to self-score it.

http://common.northpoint.org/sacredpathway.html

http://www.sacchurch.org/action-steps/sacred_pathways.htm

http://www.willowcreek.org/pdfs/Spiritual%20Pathway%20Assessment.pdf

In case you're curious, I was quite a mix of the 9. I was strongest in the Contemplative and Intellectual areas and significantly weakest in the Traditionalist category. I haven't taken the third quiz yet, but if you're curious, I'll let you know when I do. :) I think I might get the Sacred Pathways book at some point... sounds like it might have some good insights on how we relate with each other and with God.

prayer

"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply." (Matt. 6:5-8, Message)

I don't pray that much. At least not in the way I grew up believing prayer was supposed to be. When I start to "pray" I just fall into overly-rehearsed lines, like this:

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day and for bringing me safely through it."

Or, "Thank you for this food I am about to eat. Please help it to nourish and strengthen my body."

Or, "Dear God, thank you for this day. Please bring me safely through it."

I know as well as anyone else that reciting prayers without meaningfully connecting with the words or with God is essentially pointless. So how can I find a meaningful way to pray?

I've found that the only time I really pray is when I've been challenged spiritually. When I realize my short comings and recognize I need God's power to become the person I should be. But I've heard people say that they are continually in "communion" with God, day and night. What does that mean? How do they do that? Surely they don't keep a constant script going on in their heads...

"This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need." I believe that God does know what we need better than we do. And I think it is important to recognize that in order to be content in life. And since I want to live a life out of love and not fear, I know I need to learn to trust God. Which I have only recently admitted that I don't (trust Him). Seems I have a long way to go on this journey...

"With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply." My prayer life--if you can call it that--has been pretty simplistic lately. It's been mostly, "Oh God, what a mess I am. Help me figure this out. I'm not sure what to do right now, but if I take the time to listen to you, I know you can lead me. Please help me take the time!"

mental health

"You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." (Matt. 5:8, Message)

I think one of the hardest things about mental illness is having an overwhelmning sense of helplessness. Feeling like you have no control over your emotions. In a sense, you become a victim to your own mind. You don't want to be depressed or "crazy" -- but you don't feel like you have the power to heal yourself. Thus, the feeling of helplessness.

I'm not here to talk about what causes mental illness or how to cure it... I just know that mental health is of paramount importance to having a healthy, fulfilling life. It is nearly impossible to function when you are mentally ill. Mental illness can destroy your relationship with God and others.

For some reason, many people blame the mentally ill for their conditions. They say, "It's all in their heads; they're letting themselves feel depressed." Which, granted, may be true to a certain extent, at least in some situations. But, people who are mentally ill often already feel terrible about themselves. They don't need further reason to feel like they are failures. I believe that people who suffer from mental illness, particularly depression, have learned some negative coping strategies that they probably don't even realize. More than likely, they have a lot of negative self-talk and have a low self-concept. They need to be shown how to learn to love and accept themselves. Giving them the message that it's all in their head will not help them.

Mental illness and religion play a nasty cat-and-mouse game. Instead of finding hope and healing in the church, people with mental illness can actually feel more lost and even persecuted. It's funny... Jesus came here to reach out to the broken-hearted; the bitter; the depressed. He brought healing to people who had been rejected by others, had rejected themselves, or both. And yet, for some reason, the only socially acceptable behavior/emotion to display at church is joy and happiness. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad there are people who are happy and who come to church to praise God. But there are others who may be struggling and don't want to put on a happy face just to "fit in". They need a place where they can hurt, and hopefully be loved and cared for. Otherwise, they'll just stop coming to church because they feel like hypocrites.

I think that is why being in a small group and actually having relationships with the people you go to church with is so important. I also think it is important for Christians to stop being such good actors. We are real people, with real struggles, and not all of us have reached perfection in our relationship with God. I think we need to be honest with ourselves and to be sensitive to people who may need more from church than just a social gathering.

Wow, I wasn't expecting to get on my soapbox. I guess I feel strongly about this. :)

being content

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." (Matt. 5:5, Message).

I am a go-getter, hard-worker, people-pleaser. Although that serves me well in many ways, it ultimately leaves me feeling like there is more I should be doing. It makes me feel I'm not doing everything I could or should be. And when I stop and take a break, I'm bombarded by thoughts of what I haven't done--and along with that comes guilt and shame.

What I really want, more than anything, is to be content. To just experience life, day to day, living in the present with no regrets, and without worrying about tomorrow. That seems like an impossibility for me. I know I need to let go of my semblance of control. I know that's going to be a process... I am going to have to swallow my pride and admit that I'm not perfect. And then I'm going to have to work on accepting myself for who I am. That means finding value in what I am, not what I do. It sure seems like it would be easier to just ignore this uncomfortable situation... but that hasn't gotten me anywhere close to feeling content.

One thing I know to be true is if you practice a feeling, it will develop and become stronger. That's the power of the mind-emotion connection. So in order to practice contentment, I need to focus on being a "proud owner" of "everything that can't be bought". And the number one thing I can be a proud owner of right now is the relationships I have with others. I would be absolutely miserable if I were the only living thing on this planet. So I am going to try to focus on being grateful for my husband, my family, my friends, and my pets. There are so many treasures within sharing time with others.

Quality Time with Chuck :)

Quality Time with Choco! xoxo

Quality Time with Twerp. My cuddle buddy!

Quality Time with Family

More Quality Time with Family

Quality Time with Friends

More Quality Time with Friends

And last but not least, Quality Time with Drew. :)

the fear of the Lord

This past week I've spent some time searching for an answer to this question:

"If we are to have a relationship with God that is rooted in love and grace, where does 'the fear of the Lord' fit in?"

According to the Nelson Study Bible, "The fear of the Lord begins with an awesome awareness of who God is (see Proverbs 2:5) and ends with a proper response to good and evil (see Proverbs 16:6)."

According to Matthew G. Easton (19th century theologian), "The fear of the Lord is, in the Old Testament, used as a designation of true piety (see Proverbs 1:7, Job 28:28, Psalm 19:9). It is a fear conjoined with love and hope, and is therefore not a slavish dread, but rather filial reverence (see Deut. 32:6, Hosea 11:1, Isaiah 1:2, 63:16, 64:8). A holy fear is enjoined also in the New Testament as a preventative of carelessness in religion, and as an incentive to penitence (Matthew 10:28, 2 Cor. 5:11, 7:1, Phil. 2:12, Eph. 5:21, Heb. 12:28, 29)."

Through reading the above Bible verses and more, I came to see that "the fear of the Lord" is a good thing that develops through a relationship with God. To know God is to fear (revere) Him.

Developing a relationship with God, or a "fear of the Lord" if you will, brings many benefits to a person's life.

• It brings wisdom (Job 28:28, Psalm 111:10)
• It brings knowledge (Proverbs 1:7)
• In combination with humility, it brings riches, honor and life (Proverbs 22:4)
• In combination with God's law (Psalm 19:7-10):

• It converts our souls and pulls our lives together

  It simplifies things and points us in the right direction

  It shows us the way to true joy

  It opens and enlightens our eyes

  It comes with a lifetime guarantee

  It reveals the truth to us fully and accurately

• And with truth comes freedom! (John 8:32)