There comes a point in your spiritual life, as in human life, where many come to question their origins and how they were raised.
Growing up, I idolized my father. In my eyes, he could do no wrong.
Growing up, I learned about God, went to private school, and studied all of the right answers to questions I had never had.
You, the reader, may relate to the devastation I went through as a young adult when I finally learned my father was NOT perfect.
I am going through the grief process of realizing my church, my religion, and Christianity in general is NOT perfect.
I pray that just as God has helped me into a healthy reconciliation with my father, he will guide me into a healthy reconciliation with my church, my religion, and Christianity. Because otherwise, I fear, I will be lost.
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You won't be lost no matter how you determine to move forward. God is in the process. But it will be important to move past the anger and hurt--and you have to determine whether you can do that within the religious setting of your upbringing or whether you find a new faith community/ religious structure to be free from the anger.
ReplyDeleteI concur with Todd. And I feel your struggles, believe me. This weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions. There are so many people who feel the same way we do. That helps me cope a little better.
ReplyDeletehi sarah, i saw your lovely message on spectrum so i just wanted to drop by to say "hey." what you wrote really resonated with me, being raised in an super conservative adventist upbringing and trying to figure out stuff for myself.
ReplyDeleteumm, hey.
be well!
-alexia
I lost it...had this l o n g answer and switched pages without saving.
ReplyDeleteWe all have issues with our parents growing up. Mark Twain who discovered his parents learned so much while he was away and returned at 21 to find out they knew a lot!
I A L W A Y S disagreed with my mother and my dad was constantly trying to get us together 'to talk'. She worshiped the ground he walked on and growing up in the age of 'women's liberation'...I disagreed with her. no one deserved to be on a pedestal...idol worship...I learned a lot of womanly skills at her hand and more from both grandmothers